I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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