your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize