The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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