I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize