I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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