At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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