I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
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Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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