Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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