my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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