There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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