I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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