How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize