You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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