I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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