Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize