i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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