She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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