did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
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I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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