You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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