I wish my penis had an off switch
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize