Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize