my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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