Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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