Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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