He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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