my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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