I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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