You're completely useless in the revolution.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize