i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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