If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize