I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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