I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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