Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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