The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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