and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize