i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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