I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize