I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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