why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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