'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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