i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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