there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize