I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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