I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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