So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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