u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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