can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize