Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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