Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we have pet lesbian snakes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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