It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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